I recall my dad, the Marine, saying: “piss poor planning, promotes piss poor performance.” Heard variations of this phrase in college and later from my former manager at my first job post-undergrad. People drilled down performance in various ways. Embedded it into my psyche as the top-tier skill necessary for…

What do you do when your spirit feels unrest? When it toils back and forth between decisions incomplete? I wish I had the answers. Though they may be embedded deep in my psyche, I’ve yet to conjure ways to unearth them. My usual tactics seem to fail me. The moments…

Triggered by the discovery that years of “kundalini hot flashes” were the onslaught of premature menopause the entire time, it’s like my physical womb never stood a chance. According to science, this makes me unmarketable in today’s dating pool. Particularly for those who see having these child-bearing hips as useless. …

I got work to do… I gotta job, baby— Vanessa Williams It’s one of many favorites from her. I remember that video vividly. Wanted to feel empowered and embody the same sense of independence. Feel important. Understood the importance of telling someone I got work to do. However, later in…

Honestly, I believe there’s a collective confusion about why so many Black folx aren’t enthused that Juneteenth is recognized as a federal holiday. Even the most progressive of Black folx probably see this as a “win,” when really, it’s just another way to commodify, gentrify, and co-opt another Black tradition. …

I hung onto that phrase for decades — sexually liberated. Went back and forth about the meaning. Did my best to discover what it looked like for me with all the examples I saw — media and community alike. For years, I talked about being sexually liberated at a hyper-local…

I see you, sib. I know what it feels like to have all the puzzle pieces come together and prematurely share them with the masses. It’s a challenge to sit on so much information and process it without a group around. That’s the reason for therapy. …

A reflection on Heaux Tales and heaux culture I let it sit with me for a minute — Heaux Tales, that is. So much noise around the album brought a bunch of conversations and think pieces, as it should. …

Black trauma porn disgusts my voyeuristic nature. Assured this “fuck” is not the erotic experience I desire. It continues to desecrate my timeline with its sacrilegious earth offerings and I promise, involuntary martyrdom is not a worthy sacrifice, nor is it activism. However, those who control the media will convince…