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‘I Am.’ What Lovecraft Country Teaches Us About Identity
Name yourself… Our elders urged us to be careful about what we answered to, because that’s what people would call us. Episode 7 of Lovecraft Country, titled “I Am,” is the perfect self-actualization piece. In the latter half of the episode, we see Hippolyta portal to what could be a second Earth and come face-to-face with a Garnet-inspired Beyond C’est, who demands Hippolyta name herself.
Not sure what to proclaim; however, there’s no question she longed to be on stage in Paris with the beloved Josephine Baker — a symbol of her living out her most sacred dream with a woman she admired most. What flashes on-screen as seconds were several light years of Hippolyta living a life she never thought was accessible to her. It makes me wonder what would we choose, if was as simple as naming where we wanted to be.
“I feel like they just found a smart way to lynch me without me noticing the noose.”
Being surrounded by queer and feminine expressive folk was a sense of freedom and satisfaction Hippolyta could only dare to dream. After a toast by Frida Kahlo, Josephine and Hippolyta shared their sentiments about being Black and feminine. Josephine describes being a “star” as magnificent, ancient, and already extinguished, and provides the perfect segue for Hippolyta to acknowledge being minimized. Forced into a box to be and play small. After atoning for the sins against herself, she states — “I Am Hippolyta” — and so begins the journey of her integration.
The unpacking of her feelings rang heavily in my ears
Jim Crow and the micro-aggressive racism of 2020 are two of a kind. And while Black women, femmes, and those on the spectrum seek the support of Black men, we’re met with resistance and further aided in erasure by an adopted white male gaze. The assumption that they must rescue us from our anger, closeted in our sexuality, and banned from the over-assertion of our intellect. That the Cis-hetero man must wait in the wind to ensure the Black feminine does not stretch herself thin in what they deem masculine.
“I cannot tell you what true freedom is. You have to find that for yourself…”…
