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I Have Reasons to Despise Love, But I Choose Her Instead
Each year this time approaches, I always feel the same — indifferent. I can get into the nuances of Valentine’s Day but it wouldn’t make a difference and I’d sound like a conspiracy theorist, so I’ll refrain.
Though I’m sure I entered the world with lots of love to give, my introduction began in discord. Witnessing your parents, who you believed were happy, express feelings of it “not working out” or say “it has nothing to do with you,” and still wonder if it did, isn’t the fondest memory.
It disrupted what was normal and forced a new one on me that took years of change. And though gaps filled where there lived a void, nothing could repair the disruption of my father’s love. Unknowingly, it would translate into “daddy issues” over the years. But really, I just wanted a man to choose me despite how unconventional that choice might be.
This is where my journey with love began.
From elementary school “play boyfriends” to getting dumped on Valentine’s Day, high school seemed like it might be a reprieve until my prom date shared his girlfriend (insert blank stare) was his date and not me…
Girlfriend?
Heard that word a lot during high school but never quite understood what it meant or even how to be a “good” one, though I was…
