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The ‘Fruits’ of Relationship Labor and Why We Don’t Often See Them
In season 4, episode 3 of Insecure, I felt Issa in my spirit when she expressed her resentment towards not experiencing this “new Lawrence.” And while I don’t believe Lawrence is that transformed, he’s a far cry from where he was when we met him in season 1.
During her conversation with Ahmal, it reminded me of all the men I raised. None of the men asked me to, but I did naturally and never got a return on my investment. My captain-save-a-heaux ways worked the garden grounds of potential and helped men realize themselves, only for the next chick to bask in all that enlightenment and growth born from the trenches of our demise.
Bitter is an understatement.
Took me years to accept we don’t always get to reap every harvest, especially if the harvest is a man who finally grew up. Astrological placements such as the Cancer Mars and Virgo Venus in my birth chart gives some context to why I transition smoothly into a “mama bear” and a “mother hen,” but outside of that, I had to accept this need to fix people laid deep in my fear of fixing myself. I waltzed freely into the trap of raising grown men and people overall. Believed if I fixed people, if I fixed the men I fancied, their potential would carry the relationship through.
